Dwight D. Eisenhower is this year’s president added to the 4th of July update. Join us right after the jump for its premium walkthrough!
Eisenhower Purchased Dialogue
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Dwight D. Eisenhower: Now then, why am I in the future?
Lisa: Well, Mr. President, you see–
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Let the men talk.
Lisa: 1950s guys…
Bart: Well sir, there is a five-paragraph essay that requires your military genius to complete.
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Hmm. Would you describe Operation Essay to be the most critical, complex multi-force action ever undertaken by this great nation and its allies?
Bart: I would, sir.
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Convene my general staff! Take me to HQ! We’ve got a war to win!
Essay on the Principle of Delegation Pt. 1
Dwight D. Eisenhower starts
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Now, then. Essays are won or lost on the might of the thesis statement. What do we have so far?
Bart: Uh… “Eisenhower, despite being bald, was a great leader and of our many presidents, he was one”?
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Do you know the first thing about me?
Bart: No, and I don’t really want to. If you could just write the paper–
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Son, this will be the greatest paper ever conceived by the minds of free men. Strap in!
Task: Make Eisenhower Teach Bart About Eisenhower
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Bart Try to Avoid Learning About Eisenhower
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Essay on the Principle of Delegation Pt. 2
Dwight D. Eisenhower starts
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Are all American children as lazy as your brother, miss? You may speak.
Lisa: Oh, really? Gee, thanks for the permission.
Dwight D. Eisenhower: You’re welcome.
Lisa: Anyway, no. But Bart’s not lazy, exactly. In fact, he won’t stop until he gets one of you to write the paper for him.
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Hmm. Oh, on another topic — in my day the Russians were quite a threat to our democracy. How we doing on that front nowadays?
Lisa: About that…
Task: Make Bart Figure Out How to Convince Presidents
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Essay on the Principle of Delegation Pt. 3
Dwight D. Eisenhower starts
Dwight D. Eisenhower: I will not be coerced into writing your paper for you, young man.
Bart: Oh yeah? Well I’ve just come back from the library, and I dug up dirt on ALL you ex-Presidents.
Lisa: I thought the whole point was to AVOID research, Bart.
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Are you trying to blackmail us, young man?
Task: Make Bart Blackmail the Presidents
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Presidents Get Nervous
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Characters: Dwight D. Eisenhower, George Washington, Richard Nixon, Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Bart, do you honestly believe any of us have embarrassing photos in our past?
George Washington: Certainly not of me, there were no cameras back in the 18th century.
Richard Nixon: Dick Nixon’ll do whatever you ask. Blackmail away.
Essay on the Principle of Delegation Pt. 4
Dwight D. Eisenhower starts
Bart: I give up. I’m gonna fail.
Dwight D. Eisenhower: What? No operation of mine has EVER failed!
Dwight D. Eisenhower: The arsenal of democracy cannot suffer defeat! You will finish this essay, or I will finish it for you!
Bart: Uh… no?
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Step aside! Ex-Presidents! Gather ‘round! Your country needs you once more!
Task: Make Eisenhower Hand Over His Essay
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
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